


Tyler and his Great search for Happiness

by TyjoBeans



Category: Twenty One Pilots, joshler - Fandom
Genre: ASL, AU! no band, Cute boys in love, Josh is a sweetheart, M/M, SO MUCH FLUFF, band member! josh, future smut, homofobia, ignore these tags to avoid spoilers, josh is v supportive, max is mute, not top tho, single dad! tyler, tho josh is in another band, toothrotting fluff, tyler has a son named maximilian, tyler is stressed out about life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-09-17
Packaged: 2019-06-08 13:23:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15244332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TyjoBeans/pseuds/TyjoBeans
Summary: thrown out of his home at the age of sixteen with nothing but a newborn child in his arms, tyler is forced to move to a new city and start over.five years go by and life is stressful for the young, single dad, but just as the ground seem to be crumbling underneath his feet, world famous musician - joshua dun - comes into the picture and changes everything.





	1. a stressful morning, a beautiful stranger and the promise of ice cream.

**Author's Note:**

> hi guys, it's ya boy... uh, back with another fanfic.  
> i have a really good feeling about this one, not gonna lie!  
> so please, feel free to give it a try and let me know what you think! 
> 
> any type of comment would be greatly appreciated ❤

_tyler's entire face was stinging. he had never been slapped before and he was shocked over how much it actually hurt. his left cheek was red and he could feel his heartbeat underneath the skin._

_"don't you dare say that," his mother yelled, feeling the need to raise her voice even though she was standing right in front of him._

_tyler wanted to remind her that his ears worked perfectly fine, but figured that it really wasn't the time for it._

_laura's voice wavered as she spoke, and she paused to swallow down sadness and make room for anger instead. she was pointing a finger at tyler's face, staring at her son with glossy eyes, wet from unspilled tears._

_"there will be no faggot in my house, do you understand?"_

_tyler bit down on his tongue, trying his best to keep his mouth shut when all he really wanted to do was to scream in her face and, knowing his mom, make it all worse._

_in his arms, a newly born baby started to cry, sensing its father's distress from where it was pressed against his rapidly beating heart. the small child was only a week old, still new to the world._

_"shut that thing up," the woman spat, looking down at the infant with disgust, "and get it out of my sight, that abomination will not be living here, you realise that, right?"_

_"that's fine mom," tyler whispered, hugging the baby closer, "because i won't be living here either."_

_the woman scoffed and rolled her eyes, "oh yeah?" she mocked, "and where would you go? you're still a child yourself, you know"_

_tyler shrugged, "somewhere where i can find my happiness."_

 

.

.

.

 

 

"i'm sorry mister joseph, i just can't make it today."

tyler pulled at his hair out of frustration, accidentally smacking his car keys into his eye which made him even more irritated.

this morning really wasn't going the way he wanted it to.

it had been a stressful day right from the start, beginning with tyler oversleeping almost forty minutes.  
he would've probably still have been in bed if it weren't for the fact that his son - a wonderful little bundle of joy named maximilian - had woken him up to ask about breakfast.

between feeding his child and getting dressed and ready, tyler had been forced to skip his usual morning shower to make it in time for work, and just when he was about to step out of the apartment with a fruit in his hand as a stand-in breakfast and his jacket only halfway on, he remembered that the babysitter hadn't showed up.

already feeling stressed and annoyed, tyler had called her, stomping a foot impatiently on the floor as he listened to the outstretched signals.

"what do you mean 'you can't make it'? i have to work, i need a babysitter!," he cried out into the phone.

"i'm really sick and i don't want max to catch a cold," the babysitter, a teenage girl that tyler remembered being named lily, said while not sounding sick at all.

in fact, tyler could distinctly hear the sound of music and two other voices that sounded like teenage girls in the background.  
he didn't have time for this.

"fine," he growled, hanging up the phone without saying goodbye and almost throwing it on the floor before remembering that he wouldn't be able to afford buying a new one if this one broke.

so instead, tyler pulled a hand over his face and up through his hair, taking a deep breath to calm down. he just had to re-plan his entire day, no big deal.

no big deal at all.

the feeling of a small fist grabbing onto the back of his pants pulled tyler from his thoughts and he glued on a fake smile before turning around to face his son.

"hey buddy," he said as he crouched in front of his kid, petting the boy's head gently, "do you wanna come with daddy to work today?"

.

that's how tyler came to work twenty minutes late with a five year old boy dressed in spider-man pyjamas on his hip as he tried to hold his apple, car keys, wallet, jacket and name badge in his free hand.

tyler quickly apologised to the employee, who's place he was taking over for, for making her work overtime and begged her not to tell the boss.  
she just raised an eyebrow and looked at the boy who was clinging to his father like a koala before shaking her head and leaving.

with a sigh, tyler sat his son down on the floor and hid his things under the counter before securing his name badge to his shirt.

"alright maxie," he said, "daddy needs to work and i _really_ need you to behave, okay?"

the boy smiled up at his father as he nodded his head in a silent promise and tyler ruffled his hair lovingly.

"that's my boy," he smiled, grabbing his phone and giving it to the child.

it wasn't something he would usually do, give his phone to max to play with.  
partialy because kid hands meant a sticky, dirty and probably broken screen, but also because he wanted his son to use his imagination and play with toys rather than electronic devises, but today had to be an exception.

he needed to keep max occupied so that he wouldn't get bored or grumpy.

finally feeling as if he could relax, tyler sat back in his chair and took a minute to just breathe and started to think about his next step, planning his day in his head.

get through the workday, go home, cook dinner, bathe max, do the dishes, clean the apartment, do the laundry, find a new babysitter and, hopefully, if there was enough time, read max a bedtime story.

just thinking about it made him tired.

"uhm... is this register open?"

tyler flinched in surprise at the sudden voice and realised with great horror that he had spaced out.

"yes! oh, uh, yeah, sorry," he stuttered, cursing himself quietly as he started to scan the items that had been placed on the band.

tyler felt his face heat up with a blush as he worked quickly, praying that his boss didn't see him slacking.

the voice chuckled a little, making tyler look up at the costumer to offer a polite smile.

he almost wanted to gasp.

the man before him was beautiful, stunning even, with vibrant, pink hair that hung in wild and untamed curls over his forehead and neck. the sides were shaven down, revealing natural brown hairs.

' _a death-hawk_ ', tyler vaguely remembered the hairstyle being called.

gauges, tattoos and a nose ring all decorated the stranger's body and face, and he had the most beautiful eyes tyler had ever seen.

tyler didn't even notice the way the man was smiling at him with an amused look on his face.

"rough day?" he asked, eyes squinting and tongue getting trapped between perfect teeth in a grin.

tyler exhaled a chuckle, "you could say that."

at the sound of his father talking to someone, max's interest peaked and the child put the phone away, abandoning 'angry birds' to look at the stranger.

max wasn't a shy kid, far from it actually, so he wasn't scared as he stood up and peaked over the counter to get a look at his dad's new friend.

the costumer turned his head and looked at the boy, blinking dumbly.

"oh, hi there!," he exclaimed with a big smile, "i'm josh, and who might you be?"

the boy was just about to answer when his father interrupted him.

"max! what did i tell you?" he whisper-yelled in his stern parent voice.

it was a voice he wasn't very good at yet.

the kid grinned at his father, not taking him seriously and tried to climb into his lap to get higher so that he could get a better look at the stranger.

tyler grabbed max under his armpits to set him back down on the floor when a loud voice broke through the scene, causing tyler to cringe so hard that it physically hurt.

"joseph!"

tyler shrunk as he looked to his left, noticing his boss marching towards him on short, stubby legs.

"is that your kid? what on _earth_ made you think that you could bring a child to work, huh?!" the old man growled as he got closer, attracting quite a few stares from costumers and employees alike.

"uhm, well- i..." tyler sunk further down in his chair, anxiety rising as more people turned to look at him.

"well?!," his boss yelled, face and double chin red with anger, "is it your kid? the answer better be ' _no_ ' if you wanna keep your job!"

"i, uhm, i, you see sir, i-"

"-excuse me."

both tyler and his boss turned to the costumer tyler had been helping, looking at him dumbly as he crossed his arms over his chest, rising his chin a little.

"but that ' _kid_ '," he spat, "is my son."

tyler just stared in horror as the costumer - josh, he remembered - leaned over the counter and took maximilian into gentle hands, giving tyler a look that went unnoticed by the manager.

josh sat max onto his hip, holding him with one arm as he pointed a finger accusingly at tyler's boss, brows furrowed into a deep frown.

"i think you owe me, my son and this poor young man," he paused to nod his head towards tyler, "who by the way _found_ my child when i thought he had gone _missing_ , an excuse."

he stomped his foot on the ground for good measure.

the manager just stared at the costumer in shock.  
now it was his turn to shrink and look embarrassed.

"oh, i'm terribly sorry sir," the old man smiled politely, "it's all just a big misunderstanding."

josh huffed and bounced his hip up and down to keep the child busy and entertained.

"not good enough," he said, "if you want to keep me as a costumer you need to do better, and you should treat your employees with more respect."

tyler's boss looked about ready to faint.  
he was a greedy man and the thought of losing a costumer, and therefor in the long run losing money, made him pale.

"o-of course sir," he stammered, "your groceries are on the house, as an apology."

josh hummed and then nodded towards tyler, "and what about him then, huh? i think you owe him as well."

"yes, certainly," the manager mumbled, even if it pained him a little - he had been out to get tyler for weeks, just waiting for him to mess up, "tyler, why don't you finish helping this _lovely_ gentleman and his son, and then take the rest of the day off? with pay, of course."

tyler, still being too shocked to really speak, simply nodded and watched as his boss turned on his heel and disappeared into his office, probably to get a smoke to calm his nerves.

a few seconds passed quietly before josh released a breath and giggled a little.

"sorry about stealing your son," he whispered as he looked down at the kid, "max, was it?"

the boy nodded excitingly as his eyes danced over the stranger's face, his attention being caught by the colourful hair before his eyes wandered lower to the tattoo on the man's arm.  
he stared at the inked skin in amazement before reaching a hand forward, following the swirls of colour with his finger.

tyler carefully took max back, not feeling too comfortable with having a total stranger, no matter how hot, holding his child.

"uhm... thanks," he mumbled shyly, "for, you know, saving my skin."

josh just grinned and shook his head, pink curls bouncing with the movement, "don't mention it!" he said, waving it off with a hand carelessly, "your boss is a total prick."

tyler hummed in agreement before remembering that he still needed to scan the rest of the items.

he quickly sat max on one of his knees and finished the purchase, clicking into the computer that it would be a 100% discount before logging off and checking out of his shift.

"still," he said as he placed the child on the floor and stood up, starting to pack his things, "i would've gotten fired if it weren't for you, so thank you."

josh waved it away with his hand again, blowing a raspberry into thin air before he started to pack his groceries into paper bags.

tyler made sure that he had everything, mumbling a list of 'keys, phone, wallet,' under his breath to remember the most important things and then took max's hand and walked out from behind the counter.

he couldn't resist to look the other man up and down and realised quickly that yes, josh was _definitely_ his type.

muscled but lean, masculine but not too big.  
his punk-ish style was a big plus too, and even though piercings, tattoos and coloured hair should make someone look intimidating, josh still looked like a big teddy bear.  
his face was way too soft to be anything but well-meaning.

"i really owe you," tyler said, still feeling ashamed for causing a scene - or rather, for making his boss cause a scene.

he gnawed at his bottom lip for a moment, nervously shifting his weight from foot to foot.

tyler hadn't really dated anyone since max's mom - hadn't even had sex since then he realised when he thought about it. becoming a father at a young age really pulled you out of the market.

no one wanted to date someone with a kid, and tyler had been out of the game for so long that he couldn't even remember what it felt like.

he doubted that he was josh's type, but... if he didn't try, how could he know?  
maybe it was worth a shot.

in the end, tyler decided to just go for it.

"can I buy you coffee or something?" he squeaked, "a-as a thank you."

this perked josh's interest and he lifted his gaze from the last food-items he was packing.

tyler didn't miss the way the other's eyes scanned him up and down before landing on his face.  
it almost made him want to squirm, feeling exposed and, for some reason, caused him worry about if his hair looked alright.

what if he wasn't josh's type at all?  
what if josh was into... into bear-daddies or something?  
or what if he was straight?  
most people were after all.  
why did tyler always assume that everyone he fell for was gay?

"i don't know about coffee," josh said, turning away to place the last things into the bags.

tyler's heart sank.

it had been a long shot, sure, but he had still hoped that he could at least get a friend-date.  
he was actually kind of - not really - flirting with someone for the first time in five years and he was rejected.  
it felt like a stab to his confidence.

"but," Josh continued, this time looking at max with a smile, bending forward at the waist and placing his hands on his knees "i could really go for some ice cream."

the child gasped and started to pull on the sleeve of his father's jacket excitingly.

josh straightened his back again and turned to look at tyler, a smug look on his face.

"if," he said, pink tongue sticking out to lick at his lips, "it's okay with _daddy_ , of course."

tyler almost chocked on his own spit.  
a very noticeable blush spread over his cheeks and across the bridge of his nose, and he was pretty sure even his ears turned red.

josh just blinked innocently as max jumped next to his dad, trying to grab his attention.  
tyler looked down at his son, if only to stop staring at josh, still flushed.

  
the boy started using his hands, signing to his father as his lips moved soundlessly. the signs were a little clumsy, but easy for tyler to read nonetheless.

_'ice cream, please dad?'_

tyler had to clear his throat to make sure that his tongue was actually still in his mouth before he smiled and nodded.

"sure maxie."

when he looked to josh again he saw a frown on the man's face.  
it was a normal reaction people had when they understood that max was a mute.

the frown turned into a smile as josh's eyes caught tyler's, "awesome! do you wanna go, like, now?"

tyler shook his head, "i need to go home and get max dressed, can't go around in your pj's all day, can you maxie?"

the last part was directed to the little boy who grinned and shook his head.

"alright," said josh, "how does two o'clock sound?"


	2. two banana splits, a grumpy child and a phone number exchange.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wasn't planning on uploading the second chapter so close to the first one, but in celebration to the new songs i figured why the fuck not.
> 
> please feel free to leave a comment telling me what you thought of the chapter!

__tyler and max arrived at the ice cream shop that tyler had suggested five minutes early and sat down inside to wait for josh.

tyler felt a lot better now that he had been able to go home and fix himself up a bit. he had even managed to take a quick shower before he got himself and max dressed.

"can you sign... crocodile?" tyler asked, talking and signing at the same time.

there was nothing wrong with maximilian's hearing, but he was still learning sign language so tyler had made it a personal rule to sign as he talked to help his son learn faster. tyler himself had started taking signing lessons the same day he found out that his son was mute -having studied it for almost three years now - and could do it somewhat fluently.

max looked up at his father and held his arms out in front of him, one above the other, and opened them up like a crocodiles mouth.

tyler clapped his hands with a big smile, "good boy," he signed.

"i'm not disturbing anything, am i?"

tyler looked up at the familiar voice and gave josh a shy smile.

the punk was even more beautiful now than before - with his hair held back with the help of a black snapback that sat the wrong way round, pink curls still sticking out on the sides and back. he had changed clothes too, wearing a pair of black skinny jeans and a white t-shirt that hugged his shoulders and chest tightly, but was looser over his stomach. on his face was a pair of black sunglasses.

tyler needed to remind himself how to breathe, and even though josh wasn't really dressed to impress, tyler still felt like a slob in his jeans and tank top.

"not at all!" the young father said as he moved his jacket to make room for josh.

he hadn't really thought that the other man would show up.

"thanks again for before dude, it really"- tyler stopped talking as he noticed that josh's attention was on max, the boy signing clumsily, stopping every now and then to try and think of the right sign before just making one up.

"oh uhm, i don't... i can't," josh stuttered, almost looking ashamed, as if he had done something wrong.

tyler just smiled and watched his son's small hands, correcting him every now and then and showing the right signs when he messed up.

"max says; why did you lie to the old man in the store?" he translated, "that would be my boss," he added as an afterthought.

"well..." josh trailed off and turned his head to tyler, biting his lip in thought before daring to ask, "can he hear? i don't know sign language."

"can you answer josh?" tyler asked his son and max went straight to work signing, looking at the stranger as tyler translated out loud.

"i," he said as the child pointed to his own chest with his pinky, "am..."

max lifted his hand to his throats and flicked his wrist sort of like one would do when turning a key in a lock.

"mute," tyler said, "but i can hear you," he finished and signed a praise to his son.

josh broke out into a smile and clapped his hands at the boy. it might have been the cutest thing tyler had ever seen, only second to his baby of course.

"well max," josh started, pausing to decide how he was supposed to explain the situation to a five year old, "i wanted to help your dad and i had to say things that weren't true to do that. you should never lie though."

the boy accepted the answer and dropped the subject, turning to his father and asking about ice cream.

"oh right," tyler said as he stood up, "what do you guys want?"

maximilian pointed to one of the pictures by the disc but tyler shook his head and used his hands to say " _sign_ ".

the boy was put off and made a grumpy face, but started to sign out what he meant; " _banana, ice cream, chocolate._ "

tyler signed " _banana-split_ " before patting the boys hair and turning to josh.

"and what will it be for my knight in shining armour?"

josh grinned, once again showing off the tip of his tongue between perfectly straight and white teeth.

"banana-split," he said as he tried to recreate the sign he had seen tyler make.

tyler nodded with a chuckle and signed a quick ' _behave_ ' towards max before he went up to the register to get the frozen goodies.

when he got back, balancing a banana split that he knew maximilian wouldn't be able to finish, another one for josh, and a regular vanilla for himself, he couldn't help but smile at what he saw.

max was standing on his knees in his chair as he excitingly showed a sign over and over again, while josh sat next to him, trying to repeat it. the punk had his brows pulled together in concentration and stuck his tongue out from the corner of his mouth.

they didn't even notice tyler or the ice cream until he sat down and placed their sugary treat in front of them.

josh turned to him with a big grin.

"look what max taught me," he said excitingly, completely ignoring his ice cream.

he raised a hand and pointed at his chest, then proceeded to take his index finger and long finger on both hands and tapped them together twice. he wasn't looking at tyler, gaze concentrated on his hands to make sure that he didn't mess up as he spelled out " _j.o.s.h.u.a_ ".

tyler giggled and applauded the punk.

he couldn't help but notice how beautiful josh's hands were, big and veiny, but at the same time they looked like they were very warm and inviting. he wonder what they would feel like on his hips.

tyler raised his own, smaller hands and used his piano fingers to sign as he spoke out loud, "hello joshua, my name is tyler."

josh grinned as he took a small spoon of his ice cream into his mouth.

max was still standing on his knees in the chair and had already managed to smear ice cream around his mouth and on the table.

"maximilian, chairs are for butts, not knees," tyler said as sternly as he could muster despite his currently good mood.

luckily for him, his son was in a good mood too and did as he was told without protest, sitting down properly in the chair. tyler used a napkin to clean up what he could from the table, ignoring the child's mouth for now since he would only get messy again.

all three sat in silence and enjoyed their treat for a moment before josh cleared his throat.

"if you don't mind me asking, how old are you?"

suddenly tyler started to worry that josh was much older than him. or what if he was younger? what if he was under eighteen and just had one of those faces?

"oh uhm, twenty one," he said shyly, "and max is five. how old are you?"

"twenty nine," josh smiled.

tyler relaxed a little at that and nodded with his spoon in his mouth. he could deal with an eight year age difference.

"are you new in town?" tyler asked, trying to keep the conversation going.

there was nothing worse than awkward silences with strangers.

josh looked a little shocked as he nodded, "how did you know?"

"well," tyler began, licking the sticky vanilla from his lips, "it's a small town and i've been working in that grocery store for five years... i've seen everyone, and i would've definitely remembered you if i had seen you before."

josh chuckled and scratched the back of his neck, a smug smile growing on his face, "is it because i'm so handsome?" he joked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

tyler blushed and quickly ducked his head to hide his face, his too long bangs tickling his forehead.

"you have pink hair and a nose ring, it's not exactly a norm for people in this town."

"ah, and here i thought that i would fit right in with my pink hair, gosh darn."

tyler giggled and just shook his head. josh was handsome _and_ funny - tyler couldn't help but wonder what was wrong with him, something was always wrong when people seemed perfect.

they sat in comfortable silence for a little while, both adults finding amusement in the way max tried to eat all of his ice cream even though he was obviously full.

"you know," josh broke the silence, "i don't really know anyone in town, and i could really use a tour."

tyler smiled as he took the half-empty tray away from his son, stopping him from giving himself a tummy ache and ignoring the boy's sour face.

"oh my, if i didn't know any better i'd say that you're asking me out on a date, joshua," he said, flirty smile decorating his pink, pouty lips.

josh pulled a fake sad face, blinking innocently at the other, "what?" he asked, "i thought this was a date."

tyler blushed again, smiling shyly. what was he doing? he wasn't one to flirt like this. especially not with someone he barely knew! but it made him feel like a teenager again, all crush-y and shy. it was a nice change.

"a real date wouldn't involve a grumpy five year old," tyler pointed out and nodded his head towards his son who was sulking over his stolen ice cream.

josh chuckled, "alright then, i would like to take you out on a real date," he announced, "if you'd let me that is?"

tyler suddenly found breathing to be an impossible task and his stomach filled with a tingling sensation that couldn't be anything but nerves. it was one thing to flirt and to joke around, but to actually be asked out by a new-found crush? that really made it real.

he couldn't help but to hide his flushed face behind his hands for a few seconds, just concentrating on his heartbeat and the way his pulse sounded like a drum in his ears.

"oh crap, sorry if i... you can say no, i just- i thought that maybe-" josh started to stutter and tyler realised that he still hadn't answered him.

separating his fingers to peak out at the handsome man in front of him, tyler nodded shyly.

he lowered his hands, face still coated in a warm blush.

"i would really like that."

josh stopped rambling and grinned, white teeth and subtle dimples in all its glory, "awesome," he breathed, voice barely above a whisper.

josh seemed so confident while talking, but tyler noticed the way he anxiously wiped his hands off on his jeans and how he drummed out a beat with his fingers on his thighs.

they stayed for a while longer, talking about everything and anything, from what schools they went to to what concerts they'd seen.

but, one hour is a long time for a five year old to sit still and sooner rather than later max started to feel bored and tired.

"wanna go home maxie?" tyler cooed at his son as he noticed how his head would lull to the side and how he would yawn more and more often.

the child nodded tiredly.

"it was nice to meet you, josh," tyler said as he stood up and gathered their dishes together so it would be easier for the waitress to clean it up.

josh smiled and stood up too, shrugging his jacket onto his shoulders and adjusting his snapback.

"you too, tyler," he said, "and of course you max," he added with a smile towards the boy before turning to the father again, " and i'm gonna hold you to that date, alright?"

tyler giggled and nodded maybe a bit too excitingly as he lifted his son and held him to his chest.

max had almost started getting too big for tyler to lift without problem, and he let out a low 'ouff' as he pulled him up. the child threw his arms around his father's neck and rested his head on his shoulder.

"well," tyler hummed, pausing to try and make the moment last as long as possible, "goodbye then."

"goodbye," josh smiled, "i hope you have a good day."

tyler flashed the punk one last shy, but flirty smile before he started to walk towards the door.

"wait!"

confused, thinking that maybe he forgot something, tyler turned back around and watched as josh walked up to him, nervously fidgeting his fingers together.

"i should probably have your number, yeah?" he said, "so that we can make plans," he added the last bit as an afterthought, "if you wanna give it to me, y-your number that is."

tyler's heart melted at the other's awkwardness and he couldn't help but smile fondly.

"of course, good idea."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what did everyone thing about the new songs? i loooove jumpsuit and i think that the music video might be the boys best one to date, but the real treasure, for me, is nico and the niners. that song is such a jam, i just love it so much! ❤ i'm really digging the rock/raggae sound to it, and the song kind of reminds me of lane boy.


	3. temper tantrums, yellow flowers and a warm bath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (trigger warning; emotional meltdown/panic attack)
> 
> hi everyone! another week, another chapter :D i'm really gonna try my hardest to upload once a week, but i can't make any promises. 
> 
> so, anyone got tickets for the bandito tour? i'm seeing the boys in sweden and denmark on february 8th and 11th

tyler didn't hear from josh for three whole weeks.

he went on with his days as usual, going to a job that he hated to make a minimum wage that was just big enough to pay for a babysitter that didn't even know sign language.

every night he would go home, feeling tired and burned out and force himself to cook dinner and actually spend some time with his son, which had grown to be a pretty rare thing as of late. it pained tyler's fatherly heart every time he came home just i be told that max had already been put to bed.

even though he was overworked and stressed to pieces, tyler had trouble sleeping at night.

he was exhausted all the time and almost fell asleep at work multiple times a day, but when he finally placed his head on his pillow he just couldn't stop his thoughts from wandering too far and he spent most hours of his nights worrying about what the future would look like, and wondering if josh would be in it.

the first few days tyler kept checking his phone for missed calls or text messages from the very handsome man he had just started to get to know, but then a week passed, and then two.

when the third week came to an end tyler had completely given up on josh.

it was a shame because he had felt like he really hit it off with the pink haired punk, but apparently josh didn't share those feelings...

-

it was friday and everything had gone wrong.

tyler had overslept, maximilian was sick and extra cranky, tyler had gotten yelled at by his boss four times and spilled coffee on his shirt, successfully burning his chest and stomach. he had closed a fridge-door on his finger and when he went to drive home for the day, he noticed that someone had broken into his car, passenger-side window smashed and all belongings gone.

to say that tyler was in a bad mood would put it lightly, so when he came home to his son crying with a fever and throwing tantrums he just had enough.

he paid and said goodbye to the babysitter and then marched in through the living room and into the bathroom, ignoring maximilian or the way the child threw his toys around in a raging fit, and without caring to close the apartment door.

he slammed the door closed behind him before he started to sob uncontrollably.

all the stress in his life spilled over the edge and he screamed out in frustration, grabbing at his hair as he slid down the door and landed on the floor.  
his chest ached horribly and long seconds passed without him being able to take a single breath.

the only thing he could do was cry and scream and as pathetic as he felt, he couldn't bring himself to stop.

his whole life was a mess.  
he was a horrible father for not spending any time with his son, he was a horrible employee who messed everything up, and he was too much of a screw up to even be able to get himself a date.

' _everyone can see what a fuck up you are,_ ' tyler thought bitterly, smacking his hand open-palmed against his temple, ' _who would want that in their life?_ '

somewhere along the line, max had quieted down and the only sound filling the apartment were tyler's sobs, that had calmed down into tiny sniffs by now.

he knew that he needed to go out, that he needed to talk to his son and clean up the mess he had made, and he knew that he needed to close the front door and get dinner started.

but he couldn't bring himself to do it.  
he was so... _exhausted_.  
nothing felt worth doing and he couldn't even bring himself to stand up.

soft knocks were placed on the bathroom door and tyler sighed and wiped at his cheeks.

"just a second maxie," he called out before taking a deep breath, exhaling a quiet sob.

  
he tried his best to pull himself together but fresh, hot tears kept forcing their way down his cheeks.

"uhm... tyler? it's josh."

that stopped tyler's sobs right away, and suddenly he sat up straight staring big eyed in front of himself as his mind worked on overdrive.

why was josh in his apartment?  
how did he know where he lived?  
had he heard him crying?

"o-oh, josh... hold on a second," he forced his voice to sound steady and smacked a hand over his mouth to try and stop his sobs.

tyler stood on shaky legs and looked himself in the mirror, frowning at what stared back.  
he looked horrible, with messy hair, red, puffy eyes that were surrounded by dark circles and sickly pale skin.

after a pathetic attempt to hide the evidence of his meltdown by washing his face with cold water, tyler opened the bathroom door and stepped out.

he was met by josh sitting on the couch with maximilian in his lap, comforting the crying child... wait, _crying_?

"maxie? what's wrong baby?" tyler breathed in a raspy voice as he walked up to the boy and looked him over, father instincts screaming at him.

the boy just sniffed, tiny, quiet squeaks leaving his throat as he held up his hand for his father to look at.  
he had a tiny cut on his thumb, blood leaking out and running down towards his wrist.

"oh no!," tyler exclaimed, gently grabbing his child and lifting him up, "my poor baby."

he kissed max's head as he walked with him to the bathroom, setting the boy down on top of the closed toilet lid and cleaned the tiny wound before placing a bandaid around his thumb and kissing it a few times.

"i'm sorry, love," he sighed, "i shouldn't have left you by yourself."

max wasn't crying anymore, just letting out soft sniffs as he hugged his dad.  
tyler wanted to cry all over again, feeling horrible for letting his son get hurt.

"i... uhm, i'm sorry for just walking in."

tyler turned to look at josh who was standing in the doorway.

"what are you doing here?" he asked, voice tired.

he noticed that josh's hair was yellow now, not pink.

the punk scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

"something came up that i had to deal with and i felt awful for just leaving you hanging, so i came over to apologise and saw that the door was open," he explained, "i thought something might've happened and found max crying on the floor," he rambled, moving from side to side anxiously, "are you okay? i heard...," he trailed off.

"i'm fine," tyler sighed, "just a little tired."

it was quiet for a while.

"i thought you changed your mind about the date," the brunette mumbled, lifting max up again and carrying him out into the living room.

josh blinked dumbly as he followed them, "what?," he exclaimed a little too loudly, "no, tyler i would never! i just- i didn't have the time and i feel like a total dipcrap for it."

tyler raised an eyebrow, "dipcrap?" he questioned as he carefully sat maximilian down on the couch.

Josh chuckled with a shrug of his shoulders, biting his lower lip nervously.

once again, the room fell silent for a moment before josh cleared his throat.

"i brought you flowers," the punk said, pointing to a bouquet of yellow flowers that laid abandoned on the table.

tyler couldn't help but smile.

"so you still want to go on a date?" he asked shyly.

" _yes_ , yes all the way tyler," josh smiled, "i thought that i would surprise you and take you out tonight, but i understand if you aren't feeling up for it."

"yeah," tyler sighed, "i'm sorry josh. it's just... the apartment is a mess and i really need a shower, i haven't even started dinner yet and max is coming down with a fever so i can't leave him with a sitter. could we do it another time?"

"of course," josh said reassuringly, "i totally understand. is there anything i can do for you?"

"no, it's fine, thank you though," tyler assured.

he turned back towards max and pulled his hand through his blond, wavy hair before he placed it over the child's forehead, feeling his temperature.

"you do feel a little warm," he muttered, mostly to himself.

"let me at least order you some food," josh said from behind tyler, "i can watch max while you take a shower."

tyler turned his head to look at the yellow haired man from over his shoulder, "really? you wouldn't mind?"

"not at all, i don't have anything else planned tonight," josh smiled softly, "besides, i've missed you and maxie."

tyler blushed a little and then turned to his son again.

"is it okay if i leave you with josh baby?," he asked, "just for a little while."

maximilian nodded slowly while sniffling again, still tired and grumpy.  
he used his fist to scratch his eye and tyler leaned down to give him a kiss on the head.

"i'll be like... three minutes? five minutes tops, i promise," tyler said.

"take however long you need, i got this," josh said with a smile, "go run a bath or something."

tyler pulled a hand through his hair and flashed his guest a big smile, "thank you," he breathed, "just... help yourself to whatever you want, okay?"

tyler started to walk towards the bathroom, picking up clothes from the floor along the way to throw in the laundry basket.

"there's some soda in the fridge i think, just take whatever you want."

josh assured him that he would be fine and tyler gave him one last smile before he went into the bathroom and locked the door behind him.

he decided to treat himself to a bath.

sure, he had promised josh that he would hurry, but this was the first opportunity he had gotten to even consider spending some time alone.

maybe it was a bit selfish, but tyler didn't know how much longer he could go without taking care of himself, both mind and body.

he turned the tap before undressing and had to stand kind of awkwardly completely naked and listen to josh's voice on the other side of the door as he waited for the water to fill up.

once the tub was filled and the water felt almost scolding, tyler stepped into the bathtub, sitting down slowly to allow his skin to get used to the hot temperature.

a safetied sigh left his lips as he leaned back against the tub and his eyes closed almost immediately, just soaking in the steam and water that surrounded him.

-

he didn't even realise that he had fallen asleep until he was woken up by a knock on the door.

"tyler? i don't mean to stress you, but is everything okay?" came josh's voice from behind the door.

"i'm fine, i fell asleep. sorry," tyler called back as he stood up from the bath, shuddering at the water that had turned cold.

he took a quick shower to get rid of the gross 'a-day-worth-of-filth-water' and washed his hair and body with fruit-scented soap before he stepped out from the bathtub and took a towel to dry himself off.

he pulled it back and forth over his head to dry his hair as much as possible, but ended up with a big, fluffy mess instead.

with a defeated sigh, tyler let it be, figuring that josh had already seen him at his worst.

when you're in your early twenties with a kid, you don't have time for dating people that can't handle a little mess - even if that mess happens to be an inner turmoil of feelings and emotions.

if josh had a problem with that, tyler wouldn't want to waste either of their time by trying to be something he's not.

he tied the towel around his hips when he realised that he hadn't brought any clothes with him into the bathroom - it was probably a side effect from living alone with his child for so long; usually he would just walk around naked after his showers.

he took a deep breath, preparing himself to walk out of the bathroom almost butt-naked, knowing fully well that a very attractive man was on the other side.

' _you're both grown men, why are you so nervous?_ ' tyler thought to himself, trying to force the butterflies in his stomach to go away.

with one last preparing breath, tyler walked out into the living room, giving a quick nod to josh. 

tyler had no idea if josh lacked any sort of shame or if he was just _that_ bad at hiding his emotions, but he could clearly see the other man eye him up and down shamelessly. and was that a blush spreading across his face? 

"i'm just gonna go get some clothes," tyler mumbled before disappearing into his room.

he dressed comfortably in a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, too tired to worry about being underdressed.  
it was friday night and tyler wanted to be comfy, gosh darn it.

"i, uhm, i ordered some food while you were in the bath, it should be here soon," josh said when tyler walked back out into the living room.

the first thing that tyler noticed was the fact that it was... not messy.

"did you clean while i was sleeping in the bathtub?" he asked in disbelief.

"oh, yeah," josh chuckled as he scratched his neck, "i hope you don't mind. max went out like a light right away," he gestured to the sleeping child on the couch, "so i figured that i would pick up his toys and all that."

a weight lifted from tyler's shoulders as he looked around the floor.

during his little tantrum, maximilian had made quite a mess, throwing his toys around like a maniac.  
since he couldn't use his voice to get his frustration out, he had taken to more physical tactics.

luckily for tyler, max got angry rarely and the times he did get mad, he calmed down quickly again.

"josh, i...," tyler began, a hand on his hip as he looked from his sleeping son to his unexpected guest, "you have no idea how much this means to me. thank you."

josh grinned.

"it's no problem, really," he assured, "i had nothing better to do, and you looked like you could use a break."

"tell me about it," tyler huffed but then smiled at the punk, "you really are my knight in shining armour, huh?"

josh laughed at that, and it was probably the most beautiful sound tyler had ever heard.

josh was one of those people who laughed with his entire face, squinting eyes and cheek dimples and all.  
it was absolutely adorable.

the doorbell rang and tyler went to get the food, but was passed by josh yelling a rushed "i'll get it".  
he came back with his arms full of takeout that smelled like chinese food.

"wanna eat in the kitchen?" he asked.

tyler nodded.

"i'm just gonna go and wake maxie, he needs to eat something too," he said as he turned to go get his son.

tyler walked into the living room and signed at what he saw. max was sleeping on the couch, tossing and turning in an uneasy rest. his forehead glistened with sweat and he looked quite pale - all the signs for a fever.

he walked up to the small boy and gently shook him awake, pulling a hand through his hair as the child blinked his tired eyes open.

"hi sweetheart," tyler greeted in a whisper, "do you wanna go eat some food?"

even though he was still overheating with a fever, maximilian nodded and sat up, making grabby hands after his dad who smiled and lifted him.

"come on love," tyler hummed, "let's see what josh got us."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the abrupt ending! i had to split this chapter into two parts of it would've gotten way too long!


	4. chinese food, memories and not fireworks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another chapter for you guys! i hope that you enjoy it :)   
> also i want to say THANK YOU to everyone who’s been commenting and leaving kudos, it really means a lot!

when tyler and max joined josh in the kitchen they were greeted by a table full of food and drinks and an old, lit candle that hadn't been packed away since christmas.

the yellow flowers josh had brought tyler were moved to the counter and were now standing in an old vase that tyler didn't even remember owning.

josh smiled as they entered and pulled a chair out for max, helping him onto the seat, before he turned and pulled out a chair for tyler as well, a goofy grin on his face. tyler rolled his eyes, but couldn’t contain a giggle as he sat down, humming a quiet ‘thank you’ under his breath.

 "did you buy _everything_ on the menu?" tyler joked while trying to identify the different dishes.

"not everything," josh chuckled, "but i had no idea what you guys liked, so i just picked things at random."

tyler smiled gratefully, "thank you, this is perfect," he said as he started to put some different things on a plate for max who started to eat right away.

josh and tyler began eating as well, both moaning as they took their first bite of fried chicken and noddles.

max did seem to feel a little bit better with food in his belly, but still wanted to go to bed ten minutes into the dinner.

tyler smiled.

"it's okay baby," he said, gently stroking a lock of hair out of the boy's face, "want me to tuck you in?"

max shook his head and started to move his hands, forming signs, ' _i can do it on my own, goodnight dad._ '

"goodnight my love," tyler cooed, "can you give daddy a kiss?"

max stood and got up on his tippy toes to reach, giving his father a peck on the lips before going off to brush his teeth.

"poor maxie," josh said once he left, "that fever really took a toll on him."

"yeah," tyler agreed, taking a bite of his stewed beef, "he seemed better now though. i'll go check on him later."

josh put his fork down and placed his chin in his hand, leaning his elbow on the table as he looked at tyler. tyler didn't even notice that he was being watched and kept eating for a while, stuffing his face with various kinds of unhealthy goodness.

he stopped when he felt josh's eyes on him.

"what?" he asked, a subtle blush blooming on his cheeks.

"you're a really good dad," josh said.

if tyler wasn't blushing before, he sure was now. he could feel his entire face heat up as he ducked his head shyly.

"i do what i can," he mumbled, "but i wouldn't exactly call myself ' _really good_ '."

"you are though," josh insisted, "anyone can tell from miles away."

"thank you," tyler whispered, clearing his throat in embarrassment.

why was he feeling so nervous all of a sudden?

"and you're so young, too," josh kept going, "you were, what? seventeen when max was born?" he asked.

"sixteen," tyler corrected, "fifteen when he was conceived."

josh nodded, an amazed look on his face.

"was he planned?" he spat out but quickly regretted it, "i mean... you don't have to answer that, i'm sorry."

tyler chuckled and took another bite of food before he leaned back in his chair, his hands aimlessly playing with the hem of his shirt.

"no, maximilian wasn't planned," he said, "i wouldn't change it for anything in the world though."

josh nodded understandingly.

"it must've been such a drastic change," he said before shoving a fork full of noodles into his mouth.

"oh, it was," tyler groaned, a shudder running through his body as he thought back on his first few months as a father, "it was all a big mess to be honest."

"is it okay if i ask you about it?" josh questioned shyly, "i mean... you don't have to answer if you don't want to, i get that it's personal and all that. i'm just... i'm really interested in you and this is such a big part of your life, and i really wanna get to know you better."

"well," tyler began, straightening his back a little, "after everything you've done for me tonight, i'd say you can ask me whatever you want."

josh grinned that beautiful grin again, sticking the tip of his pink tongue out between his teeth. tyler's heart did a somersault in his chest.

josh cleared his throat, "how long have you been a single father for? i mean, max must've had a mother at some point, right?"

tyler raised his hand to scratch at his cheek, nervously biting his lower lip.

"well," he sighed, "i've had max to myself since the beginning pretty much. his mother birthed him and that was that. she didn't want to look at him or hold him, so once she was well enough to leave the hospital she was just... gone."

"wow," josh breathed, shock evident on his face, "and she never looked back?" he asked.

tyler shook his head before taking a sip of his drink. he gently placed the glass back down on the table.

"no, but i don't blame her," he said, "our entire relationship was kind of a setup that our parents made for us, and neither one of us was ready for a baby."

"a setup?" josh questioned as he leaned forward in his chair, almost as if they were sharing a secret that was just between the two of them.

now that tyler thought about it, it kind of was. he hadn't talked to anyone about this before. not because he didn't want to, but because no one had ever cared to ask.

"yeah," tyler lowered his voice, "because i came out as gay," he whispered, feeling almost like a naughty kid telling gossip, "my parents said that they could fix me, that i was just _sick_ , so they got me a girlfriend to help me realise that i could settle for ladies."

he could tell that josh felt the childish giddiness as well. the punk squirmed in his seat, sitting on the very end of the chair to be as close to the other as possible. they probably looked really stupid, but neither of them had the heart to care.

"big news flash, it didn't work."

josh chuckled and tyler could feel his warm breath on his face. it smelled like chinese food.

"so, what happened next?" josh asked, "what did your parents say about the baby?"

tyler's face dropped and he sat up straight in his chair again, the childish feeling gone and replaced by a knot in his stomach. josh noticed the change of mood and sat back as well, looking at the other with a concerned face.

"they hated me so much for it," tyler mumbled, "they said that i ruined that poor girls life by planting a monster inside of her, and they never forgave me for it."

josh hummed to show that he was listening and placed his hand palm up on the table as an invitation for tyler to take it.

tyler looked from josh's hand to his face a few times, hesitating, before he gently laid his hand on top of it. josh closed his fingers around tyler's hand, and it felt so warm and soft and even though it was such an innocent, normal gesture, it made tyler feel butterflies in his entire stomach. he wondered if he was touched starved.

"uhm," tyler trailed off, feeling his blush coming back to his face as he looked at their linked fingers, "i haven't heard from them since then."

"wait, really?" josh asked.

"yeah, but that's kind of my fault," tyler continued, "as soon as all the paperwork was in order i took max and left. i moved to another state and changed my number and everything."

“wow," josh breathed, "and you never changed your mind? don't you miss them?"

"of course i miss them," tyler sighed, "and i do think about it a lot, but i did what was best for max. i wouldn't want him to grow up around grandparents that called him a monster or a mother that didn't love him."

"well, it's not too late to reach out to them again. maybe they've changed their minds, it's been five years after all," josh suggested, trying to see the positive side.

tyler laughed humourlessly, "trust me," he said, "they aren't the changing type."

he slumped his shoulders a little as he thought about his siblings and parents and his heart ached at the painful memory of leaving them.

"it would be nice to see them again, though" he mumbled quietly, more to himself than anyone else, "if only to say a proper goodbye."

when tyler looked up and noticed the sorrow-filled gaze josh gave him, he sighed and straightened his back a little.

clearing his throat, he said, "well, enough about me, tell me about yourself."

josh accepted the change of topic and was quiet as he thought for a while.

"oh, well my name is joshua dun, i'm 29 years old, uhm... i recently moved here from los angeles because i wanted a fresh start and i'm in the middle of, uhm, i guess you could call it 'closing down a business'?" he said.

he made it sound more like a question.

"a business?" tyler asked, "what kind of business?"

"well," josh took his hand away, letting go of tyler and leaving a coldness behind, "i was in a band for a while and it was going pretty well, but i just didn't enjoy all the attention so..." he trailed off, looking out through the window instead.

"a band?" tyler asked, "what was your name? is it something i've heard of?"

"maybe? we were called bicycle thief."

tyler felt his jaw go slack as he gaped at the man in front of him.

bicycle thief? that was like the biggest band out there! even tyler who was as disconnected from the music industry as one could get had heard of them. their songs got played on the radio all the time.

" _no way_ , you're joking, right?"

josh chuckled nervously and shrugged a shoulder, trying to wave it off as if it wasn't a big deal. tyler could tell that it was making the punk uncomfortable, but he just couldn't wrap his head around it.

"what instrument did you play?" he asked.

josh smiled shyly, "the drums," he said, "and some trumpet and stuff. i was also in charge of the electronic music."

"dude, that's so cool," tyler exclaimed, "i used to play a little bit of music before max came," he said, "and i sang in my family church every sunday."

"really?" josh asked with peaked interest, "you'll have to show me some day."

tyler chuckled nervously, "i don't know about that... i'm not exactly a world star or anything."

"you... you won't tell anyone i'm here right?" josh asked suddenly, "i've kind of been trying to avoid the media and all that."

"of course not!" tyler exclaimed maybe a little bit too loudly.

he ducked his head and lowered his voice before continuing, "your secrets are safe with me, don't worry about that."

and just like that, josh's whole body languish changed. his shoulders sunk as he relaxed his neck and back and his leg stopped bouncing under the table. tyler could tell that his face changed too, seeing how the wrinkles between his eyebrows disappeared.

 

they kept on talking and eating and, at one point, even watched youtube videos of cringe-worthy interviews that josh had done until way passed tyler regular bed time and neither of them noticed how late it got until tyler got a glimpse of his phone.

"oh my gosh, it's half passed midnight," he said as he stood up, "i _really_ need to get into bed."

josh stood up as well and started to put away the food as he nodded in agreement.

"sorry," he said sheepishly, "i totally overstayed my welcome."

"what? no no, it's fine," tyler reassured, "it was nice. i can't even remember the last time i actually hung out with anyone like this."

"you seem like a busy guy," josh pointed out as he threw away the food containers.

"well, with max and a full time job there's not much time left for tyler," tyler chuckled.

they finished up in the kitchen and josh carried the garbage bag with him to the door, insisting that he could take it out with him when he left. the apartment was quiet as josh stepped into his shoes and grabbed his light late-summer jacket. once he was done, he turned around, and suddenly they were very close. tyler swallowed thickly.

"i had a great time," josh said lowly.

"me too," tyler smiled nervously, shifting from foot to foot, "thank you for... everything. the food and for cleaning and for watching max, i was... well, it really helped me, so...  _thank you._ "

josh smiled and threw an arm around tyler's shoulders, pulling him into a loose side hug. josh's body felt warm and strong against tyler's, all firm muscles and smooth skin.

"anytime," the punk said, "i'm just glad i still got my date," he added with a grin that made tyler's knees weak.

"how did you even find out where i lived?" tyler asked.

it had been bugging him the entire night and he knew for a fact that he couldn't be searched on the internet. he had made sure of that when he moved away from his family.

"oh, well i tried to search your name and number online, but nothing came up. then i remembered what you said about working in a store in a small town? that you know pretty much everyone?"

"uhu," tyler nodded, urging the other to keep explaining.

he did remember saying something like that to josh the first time they met.

"so i kind of just asked around," josh said, a blush creeping up on his cheeks as he scratched his neck sheepishly, "almost everyone had something nice to say about you and max, but it took a few tries before someone actually knew your address."

tyler blinked in shock. had josh really gone through all that work just to surprise him?

"wait, really?" he asked in awed disbelief.

"yeah, sorry if it's creepy or anything."

"no, no-," tyler stuttered, searching for words, "i just... you went through all that work? you could've called me, you know."

josh smiled shyly and shrugged his shoulders, "i wanted it to be a surprise."

he looked down at his feet nervously and tyler had a hard time wrapping his head around the fact that this awkward, shy man was a world wide celebrity.

"well i'm glad you found me," tyler said gratefully.

josh looked up, and for a while they just smiled at each other like two idiots.

"so," josh said, biting at his lower lip in a flirty smirk, "can i also kiss daddy goodnight?"

tyler tried to play it cool, he really, _really_ did. he wanted it to be like in the movies, were the couple would be flawless and sexy, and where there would be fireworks and sparkles.

but tyler isn't very sexy, and he's definitely not flawless. and the way josh said it was just so... _funny_. so tyler did the only thing he could think of.

he laughed in josh's face.

it just sort of... came out of him.

tyler smacked a hand over his mouth and stared big eyed at the punk before he hid his blushing face behind his hands. why had he laughed? why did he have to be so awkward?

peaking out shyly at josh from between his fingers, tyler noticed the blush on the other man's face as well. he did look humoured though.

"oh come on!" josh exclaimed between chuckles, "it was a smooth pick up line, you can't hold that against me!"

"sorry, sorry," tyler giggled as he calmed down.

he slowly lowered his hands from his face and cleared his throat to collect himself, biting his lower lip to prevent another laughter attack.

josh smiled at him with hope in his eyes without making a move, so tyler decided to just go for it. he leaned forward quickly so that he wouldn't have to time chicken out and pressed his lips against josh's.

and wow.

maybe there weren't any fireworks or sparkles like in the movies and books, but there were butterflies and beating hearts and josh's hand on his neck and cheek and what more could you really ask for?

it was almost overwhelming.

josh's lips were soft and warm just like the rest of him and the whole situation made tyler feel like a teenager again. the sensation of a day old scruff against his cheeks was adding to the feeling as well, because finally - _finally!_ \- tyler was kissing another man, and nothing had ever felt so right before.

they pulled apart with quick pulses and heavy breaths and for a moment, they just stared at each other.

"well," tyler whispered, "goodnight then josh."

"goodnight tyler," josh whispered back, "can i call you?"

tyler smiled and nodded.

"please do," he said, "and don't make me wait three weeks this time."

josh left the apartment with the bag of garbage and the promise of calling in the next few days, and tyler went to bed with a giddy feeling and new hope in his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please let me know what you thought about the chapter! you’d comments keeps me motivated <3


	5. text messages, crazy fans and news articles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it’s ya boi, back again with a new chapter.
> 
> let me know what you thought about this chapter - your comments are my fuel!

this time around, it didn't take three weeks for josh to send a text.

just two days after their little date night, tyler's phone 'ding'ed with a new message and it didn't take long for the duo to fall into a rhythm of talking back and forth.

they saw each other as much as they could between tyler's tight schedule and josh's business with the band, which, sadly, wasn't all that much.

they made it work though.

one time they met up for a quick coffee while maximilian was taking a nap, and another time they went to the cinema when tyler wasn't working, their fingers intertwined the entire movie. they went on dates every chance they got, going to places tyler had never dreamed of visiting, like fancy restaurants and local concerts.

though most of the time they stayed in tyler's apartment, giving each other shy kisses or nervous, awkward snuggles.

tyler couldn't help but feel as if he was fifteen years old again, crushing on the prettiest, most popular jock in high school. but it was kind of nice to have that teenage-love kind of mindset, it made him feel all giddy and warm.

all good things came to an end though, and josh had to go back to los angeles to take care of things. he would be gone for two whole weeks, which might not seem that long, but was an eternity for the love-struck duo.

in the meantime, they had to rely on messenger and facetime.

 

**from: tyler**

**to: josh**

**sent: 06.27**

_when are you coming back from the big city?_

 

tyler placed his phone back down on his living room coffee table and went on with his morning routine of getting washed, dressed and proper for the upcoming hours of meaningless work - well, it wasn't entirely meaningless, seeing how it was his only source of income - as he waited for a response.

 

**from: josh**

**to: tyler**

**delivered: 06.48**

_i'm flying back home today. looks like i'm gonna stay in town for a while this time :)_

 

tyler smiled down at his phone as the screen lit up. he had missed the punk more than he dared to admit, even to himself.

just when he was about to answer, his phone vibrated with another message.

 

**from: josh**

**to: tyler**

**delivered: 06.51**

_i can finally take you out again! ;)_

 

tyler squealed like a teenaged girl before he could stop himself and then cringed at his own immature behaviour.

god, why did he have to be so awkward?he was absolutely smitten with that yellow haired punk.

he sat down in the couch as he began to write out a response.

 

**from: tyler**

**to: josh**

**sent: 06.54**

_i would hope so, you can't make a girl wait forever!_

 

right after he pressed send, tyler groaned at his own answer.

why did he just call himself a girl?

it had sounded funny in his head, but now that he read it again it sounded totally uncool and stupid. josh was so handsome and collected, not to mention rich and famous, and tyler was so... well, not that.

to be honest, tyler had no idea what josh could possibly see in him. to be with him was like accepting a huge pile of troubles into your life.

not to mention maximilian.

 

**from: josh**

**to: tyler**

**delivered: 06.55**

_don't worry, i'll be home with you soon princess! ;)_

 

tyler's breath got caught in his throats and he threw his phone onto the couch as if it had burned his hand. he could feel his heart beat hard in his chest and he was blushing so much that even his ears turned red.

tyler was pulled from his moment of 'newly-in-love' panic by a knock on the door and he realised with a heavy heart that max's babysitter had arrived and it was time for him to go back to work.

typical.

"he's still sleeping," the brunette informed as a stand in greeting when he opened the door and allowed the young girl to enter, "if he isn't up by eight o'clock, please wake him, or he'll never be able to sleep tonight."

"you got it mister joseph," the girl, who was named emmy, said with a smile that was way too wide for the early hour.

"alright, well i should be home again by four," tyler kept babbling as he grabbed his wallet and keys, "there's lunch for the both of you in the fridge and if he gets hungry again you can give him some fruit or crackers."

"right, same as always mister joseph," emmy said politely.

tyler stopped for a second to look at her before giving her a sharp nod.

"right."

they said their goodbyes and then tyler was off to work.

it was getting colder outside for every passing day and fall was just around the corner.

tyler had never been a huge fan of summer so he greeted the cosiest season with open arms as he thought about fluffy blankets and hot cups of tea.

and maybe about spending it with josh.

tyler wasn't what you would call an optimist. he doubts everything and he always catches himself thinking that positive things are too good to be true. 

but he is a dreamer. 

so even if his relationship with josh wasn't certain he allowed himself to dream about strong drummer arms around him as they laid on the couch and about yellow curls that tickled his face in the morning and about beautiful laughs with dimples and laughter lines.

he really, really hopes that it comes true.

 

-

 

when tyler got to work, it was like any normal day. he put on his name tag and he went to the register that he was resigned. he waited for costumers, scanned their items and wished them a good day. it's boring and unsatisfying, but it is a way to get money.

"good day," tyler greeted another costumer, fake smile plastered on his face as he scanned a loaf of bread and some apples.

the woman he was serving didn't even acknowledge his greeting and barely looked at him while she paid her total. it's nothing tyler wasn't used to, but it would've still been nice to at least get some form of ' _thank you_ '.

the store was quiet and business was slow up until lunch time when a group of teenagers entered through the automatic doors. 

they were all girls, maybe around the age of sixteen, and were talking and laughing loudly amongst themselves. tyler recognised their faces but didn't know their names. they usually came around once or twice a week, probably skipping school to buy candy and energy drinks.

but this time around they didn't carry any items, instead they all walk straight up to tyler's register, whispering to one another.

"hey," one of them said before giggling.

tyler raised an eyebrow but quickly replaced it with one of his perfect employee-smiles.

"hello," he said, "can i help you find anything today?"

all of them started giggling again and for a moment tyler feared that he was part of some kind of prank.

"no, but we were just wondering... are you really dating josh dun?" another piped up from the background.

tyler blinked dumbly.

"what?" he asked.

he could feel his heart rate pick up speed at the mention of josh's name. how did these girls find out about that?

"yeah, it's all over twitter."

"twitter?" tyler questioned.

"and facebook and instagram."

"what are you all talking about?" tyler huffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

"josh dun," one girl said, "he's a drummer, and the whole world says that you're dating him. is it true?"

tyler's breath got caught in his throat. what? that can't be true. they had been so careful not to be seen together. josh was very good at hiding behind layers of clothes, hats and sunglasses.

"why do people think that we're dating?" he asked suspiciously.

josh couldn't have said anything to the press, he would've talked to tyler about if first, right?

and tyler sure as hell hadn't told anyone.

"here."

someone held up a phone in tyler's face, showing a picture of josh and him in tyler's kitchen, shot from the outside through a window. the picture had bad lighting, but was sharp and crisp and there's no denying that it was them.

tyler's stomach dropped to his gut.

"i-" he stammered, swallowing thickly, "i know him. nothing more nothing less."

"so you hang out with him?" the girl holding the phone squealed.

tyler just shrugged, scared of saying something that would put josh in a bad spot. did josh know yet? was he mad?

"what's he like?" one of them asked, "is he as hot in real life as he is in videos? have you seen him naked? have you guys fucked?"

tyler's head started to spin and he had to grab a hold of the counter in front of him so that he wouldn't fall. he leaned forward a bit and allowed his chin to drop to his chest, taking a deep breath before he stood up straight and cleared his throat.

"can i help you with anything today?" he asked through clenched teeth.

"come on!" a girl giggled, "tell us about him."

"are you going to buy anything?" tyler asked again in fake politeness.

"is he coming back here? do you guys live together?"

"if you aren't here to buy anything, i suggest that you leave," tyler said firmly as he stared at the girl in the front.

"joseph!"

tyler felt his entire body go rigid at the sound of his boss's voice, his shoulders shooting upwards and his hands clenching into firsts.

the old, chubby man walked up to the register with loud steps before stopping next to the girls.

"did i just hear you being rude to costumers?"

"with all due respect sir," tyler said, stopping to lick at his lips nervously, "they aren't costumers right now and they were harassing me and holding me back from doing my job."

" _your job_ ," his boss roared, "is to be nice to the costumers, and _clearly_ you aren't doing that."

"but i-"

"'- _but i_ '," the old man mocked in a stupid voice, "this was the last straw joseph, you're fired!"

tyler felt as if all air was punched out of him.

"what? no, you can't do that!" he cried out, "look man, i have a kid to feed and bills to pay."

"that's not my problem," his boss spat.

"i've been working here for five years, come on!"

 

the end result was still the same.

tyler went home early that day, unemployed and on the brink of a panic attack. to make it all worse, it had happened in front of all of those teenagers. it was humiliating.

what the hell was he gonna do now?

he didn't have much money saved, not enough for even a months rent, and with no other source of income he didn't know how he was supposed to take care of his own kid. 

on top of losing his job, he had a bad feeling about the josh-news. josh had specifically asked tyler not to tell anyone about his location and it had already hit the presses. what would happen now? what if josh broke the whole thing off? what if he moved far, far away and tyler would never be able to see him again?

 

-

 

when tyler opened the door to his apartment he was greeted by the best thing in the world; a happy maximilian running up to his father with his arms wide open, ready for a hug.

"ouf!" tyler huffed as he slung his arms around his son and lifted him high in the air, "you're getting so big maxie!"

he hugged his child close and buried his nose in the young boy's blond locks, inhaling deeply to fill his lungs with the comforting smell.

"daddy missed you so much baby," he whispered as he gently rocked them from side to side.

max hugged back as hard as he could, smiling brightly at his father.

even though tyler was beyond happy to be home with his boy again it saddened him to think that he wouldn't be able to take care of him properly. max was about to start school, how could tyler possibly pay for that? not to mention the extra costs for a translator.

"oh, mister joseph!" emmy greeted as she rounded the corner from the kitchen, still drying her hands on a towel, "you're home early."

"oh, uhm... yeah, something came up," tyler mumbled, "has he been good today?"

the teenager smiled and nodded, "like always!"

tyler smiled and kissed max's forehead before he sat him down on the ground again.

"your phone has been going off like crazy all day," emmy informed, "i charged it for you so that it wouldn't die."

tyler frowned and started to feel around in his pockets for his phone before he remembered that he had thrown it on the couch in embarrassment that morning.

he never took it again.

he quickly paced to the living room and grabbed it to check his messages. some of them were from old friends asking him why he was all over their facebook feed with some celebrity, but most of them were from josh.

 

**from: josh**

**to: tyler**

**delivered: 10.18**

_have you seen this?_

 

with the text, josh had sent a link to a news article that featured the same picture that tyler had seen before, along with two other ones. one was of tyler and josh hugging, with tyler's back facing the camera. the other one was of them kissing. it was a bit blurry and josh's head was moving in the picture, but the image was still clear enough.

above the pictures were a text that read " _joshua dun, former drummer of bicycle thief, and his new lover - just a fling or something more?_ "

tyler groaned out loud at the horrible headline before he read through the other messages.

 

**from: josh**

**to: tyler**

**delivered: 10.34**

_tyler, are you okay?_

 

**from: josh**

**to: tyler**

**delivered: 10.37**

_don't say anything to anyone, please._

 

**from: josh**

**to: tyler**

**delivered: 10.52**

_i'm boarding my plane now._

_i'll be on my way as soon as i land._

 

tyler almost didn't notice that max came into the room and crawled into his lap before he felt a kiss on his cheek and tiny hands grabbing the front of his shirt.

the child looked at his father with big, round eyes and tyler forced a smile before he leaned forwards and rubbed their noses together in an eskimo kiss.

"mister joseph, are you okay?"

emmy was standing in the valve between the hallway and the living room, looking at max and tyler with worried eyes.

tyler frowned in confusion. why would she ask that? was it that obvious that something had happened?

"you're crying," she explained as if she could read his mind.

just then, maximilian leaned forward and clumsily used his hand to wipe at his daddy's cheek, smearing hot tears all over tyler's face.

tyler had to raise a hand and hold it over his mouth to stop himself from sobbing and he gently cleared his throat to try and collect himself.

max shouldn't be the one wiping his tears away, it should be the other way around.

he slowly lowered the hand, pressing his lips together firmly to stop his chin from quivering.

"uhm," he cleared his throat again, trying to get rid of the knot that grew right behind his adam's apple, "i'm alright."

"you know," the babysitter said gently, "i'm not supposed to go home until four, and it's only two o'clock."

she walked up to tyler with a small smile on her lips and sadness in her eyes, "i could take maxie for a walk, if you want."

tyler relaxed a little and nodded gratefully.

"please," he squeaked, "there's a twenty' in my jacket. go get ice cream or something."

the teenager nodded and carefully lifted max from his father's lap, ignoring the little boy's protests.

it wasn't until they were both out of the apartment and the door was closed that tyler dared release a shaky breath of air, mumbling a quiet ' _fuck_ ' as he let it go.

"fuck!" he said again, louder this time and he threw himself backwards into the backrest of the couch.

and just like that, the waterworks were in action. tyler wasn't just shedding tears, he was full on ugly-crying with sobs and hulking and hiccups and snot and spit that left him with a pounding headache and a warm face.

in just a day his life had come crashing down on him, and to make it all worse; on maximilian too, who had never done anything to deserve anything bad.

max had never cried over not getting the toys he wanted and he had never complained whenever he grew out of his old clothes a little too much before getting new ones, but at least he had been fed every day and had a roof over his head every night. and now tyler had no idea if he could make those promises anymore.

he really had no idea what he was supposed to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you enjoyed!  
> please comment/leave kudos if you thought it was okay <3
> 
> btw, levitate has me as snatched as tyler at the end of the music video


	6. tears, laughter and chewed food

tyler was still in the middle of his pity-party when the front door to his apartment swung open.

feeling too drained and too tired to care, he simply stayed where he was, laying on his belly on the couch with his face pressed down in a pillow. he wasn’t sure if the suffocating feeling was coming from the fact that his nose and mouth was covered by the scratchy fabric of his couch-pillow or if he was having a panic attack. to be honest, he didn’t really care which it was.

"ty?"

suddenly there was the gentle pressure of a warm hand on his lower back which caused tyler to raise his head.  
he was met by a very concerned, very sweaty looking josh.

the punk looked as if he hadn't slept in days and his face was shiny with grease.  
there was a few days worth of stubble on his chin and he seemed just about as tired as tyler felt.

"hi," he whispered, using his thumb to wipe away a tear from tyler's cheek, "i'm so sorry."

tyler sniffled and sat up all the way, trying his best to ignore his headache and sore body.  
damn, crying was exhausting.

"why are you sorry?" he asked in a weak voice.

josh blinked in confusion, "it's because of me that you're sad, right? because of the pictures and the media?"

"what?" tyler shook his head quickly from side to side, "no, no! i mean, yeah, it's stressing me out, but it's not because of the pictures. i was just so scared that you would hate me now because i really like you and i don't want you to leave me and i lost my job and it's all just too much and-"

-"you thought that i would leave because of a stupid picture?" josh interrupted.

tyler quieted down and sat still for a few seconds, his gaze studying josh's face.

they were too close to have real eye contact and tyler kept jumping between looking at josh's right and left eye, unable to pick one.  
josh's eyes were glossy and red rimmed, but tyler had no idea if it was from crying or from lack of sleep.

"you said that you didn't want anyone to find out where you were," tyler said in a hoarse voice, "i thought that you would be mad."

josh raised his eyebrows in shock, "that's why you're sad? because you thought that i would be mad at you over a paparazzi picture?"

"well," tyler shrugged and he turned his face away, looking down at his own hands that were nervously fidgeting in his lap, "maybe? you texted me that i wasn't allowed to speak to anyone and i thought it was a really big deal."

the weight of josh's body made the couch dip a little as the punk sat down next to tyler and suddenly there were two strong hands around the younger's waist, pulling him towards the yellow haired man.

josh sat with his legs and feet up on the couch, leaning his back towards one of the arm rests as he pulled tyler to sit between his thighs, leaning his back against his chest.

josh kept his arms securely around the smaller man and tyler thought that he might just faint.

it had been so long since he had cuddled with anyone, and even if he and josh had shared a few kisses and hugs over the last couple of weeks they hadn't really gotten this close before.  
it felt so new and exciting and _absolutely terrifying_ all at the same time.

"it's not your fault ty," josh said into his hair.

tyler could feel his lips move against the top of his head.

"it's because of me that the paparazzi took the photo, and it's my fault for not being careful enough," the punk sighed, "i'm sorry that it effected you tyler. i never wanted to drag you into any of this."

"it's not your fault either," tyler mumbled quietly with a shrug, taking in a shaky breath, "you're not responsible for what other people do."

it got quiet for a while.

"i'm sorry about your job," josh said, changing the subject.

tyler felt his heart drop at the reminder.  
he still needed to figure out what he was supposed to do next.

"me too," he sighed, "it's not really all that surprising, my boss has been out to get me for months... it's not like i'm gonna miss it or anything, i really hated that job, but i need some source of income, you know?" he gnawed off a piece of dried skin from his lower lip, the taste of copper filling his mouth as he licked over the tender spot left behind, "i have no idea what i'm gonna do now."

"it's okay to be a little lost sometimes," josh said.

he started to rub gentle circles on top of tyler's stomach with the palms of his hands and tyler was surprised over how relaxing it was.  
he couldn't help but to close his eyes, feeling some of the tension slowly leave his body.

he leaned back even more, putting all of his weight against josh's firm chest and relaxed his neck, allowing his head to fall back onto the drummer's shoulder.

josh breath fanned over tyler's ear as he talked quietly, "everything will be okay, you deserve a break."

tyler chuckled humourlessly, "i can't take a break," he said with his eyes still closed, "i gotta keep going, for max."

"you need to take care of yourself before you can take care of others," josh pointed out, "you're not alone anymore, you know."

tyler hadn't even considered that.  
to enter a serious relationship meant that he would have to set time aside to actually _be_ in a relationship.  
he would have to learn how to compromise and how to let things go and he would have to learn how to trust in someone that wasn't himself.

it had been so long since he had had anyone to rely on and even if josh seemed like an amazing guy, tyler wasn't sure that he could open up that much yet.

"josh," he said lowly, "i'm really bad at relationships."

josh chuckled and it was such a heartwarming sound.  
it sounded so pure and happy and just filled with emotion and tyler couldn't help but smile, simply because josh's happiness was contagious.

"i'm bad at them too," the punk assured, "maybe we can help each other learn?"

tyler could feel josh's chest expanding as he took a deep breath.

"please tyler," he whispered in his ear, "please be my boyfriend?"

his voice was so full of hope and tyler wanted to say yes, he really, really did.  
but then he thought about what josh would be giving up to be with him, and what it would mean for the punk to actually get involved with his sad excuse for a life.

and he just couldn't do that to him.

"josh, i... we can't."

tyler could literally feel how disappointed the yellow haired man was.  
his entire body sunk and hunched forward and the tight grip that his strong arms had had around tyler loosened until it barely counted as a hug anymore.

"i'm sorry," tyler whispered, "but i can't do that to you. i'm a mess, my whole life is a mess. hell, this is the second time you've walked in on me in the middle of an emotional breakdown," he sighed, gnawing at his lower lip and hanging his head in shame, "you can get anyone you want, someone much better than me. i wouldn't want to force you into this train wreck."

"oh ty," josh whispered breathlessly.

he grabbed onto tyler's shoulders and manhandled him until they were sitting face to face.

josh tried to get tyler to look at him, but the brunette was staring down at his own hands stubbornly, refusing to lift his head.

josh grabbed onto his chin and gently, slowly, beckoned him to look up.  
when their eyes met, the punk smiled softly.

"i want you, alright?" josh said, voice gentle and smooth, but powerful in its meaning, "and i want everything that comes with it, even if that includes the bad stuff."

"josh, that would mean maximilian too, you understand that, right?" tyler said, his voice sounding small and weak in the tense air between them, "i can't allow him to get attached to someone if they're gonna walk away a few months later. it would break his heart."

"i know that," josh said, "and i know that you and max are a package deal, and i would never do anything to hurt him," he licked his lips and swallowed thickly, looking across the room as he searched for the right words to say before he continued, "i understand that i can't just waltz into his life and pretend like i'm his new parent or anything like that, but i would care for him as if he was my own, i promise."

they sat quietly for a while as tyler let josh's words settle in his mind.  
he wanted josh so, _so_ badly.

"i'm... i'm head over heels in love with you tyler," josh continued with a nervous chuckle, "i'm in love with the thought of being with you, and i want to be able to make you smile every single day and i want to take you places you've never been and i want to create memories with you. i- i _want_ _you_ tyler," he scratched at his blushing cheek sheepishly, "please... just give me a chance to prove it to you?"

tyler was, well... surprised, stunned, shocked.  
completely and utterly speechless.

so, instead of sitting there quietly like a total fool and search his brain for the right words to say, he followed his heart for once and threw himself forward into the other man, slinging his arms around his neck.

he vaguely heard josh gasp in surprise before he quieted him with an aggressive kiss, smashing their lips together carelessly.

josh responded right away, sneaking his arms around tyler's waist as he kissed him back passionately, gently stroking the curve of his spine.

the kiss turned heated right away, deepening as josh took control over it, and it didn't take long before there were tongues involved and hands under shirts.

"oh my!"

both men jumped apart at the sound of a new voice and turned to the valve where they spotted max and his babysitter.  
the girl held one of her hands over max's eyes and the other over her mouth to hide her smirk.

"i didn't mean to interrupt anything," she said, looking between the two very embarrassed, very blushing boys.

tyler cleared his throat awkwardly and stood up, fixing his shirt.

"uhm, josh, this is emmy, max's babysitter," he waved a hand in the teenager's direction, "and emmy, this is j-"

"- _oh my gosh_ you're josh dun!" emmy squealed.

"yeah, that," tyler deadpanned.

josh chuckled a little awkwardly, obviously finding the situation uncomfortable.  
tyler didn't blame him though.

it was embarrassing enough to be caught making out with a guy by a stranger, but to add the fact that you're famous and that the stranger is a fan must really be the icing on the cake.

the punk stood up, correcting his shirt and hair much like tyler had done, and stepped up to the girl, shaking her hand.

"it's nice to meet you, emmy," he said, bowing his head a little.

he was then almost tackled by a very happy, very excited five year old running into his legs, hugging them tightly.

"hi maxie!" josh grinned, bending at the waist to pick the child up in his arms, "i've missed you bud."

max swung his arms around josh's neck and hugged him tightly.

"this is _such_ a weird day," emmy mumbled to herself, shaking her head in disbelief, "my friends will never believe me."

"oh," josh smiled as he tried to loosen the little boy's grip on him, "do you want an autograph or something?"

"really?" the teenager's entire face lit up in excitement, "that would be so awesome! i thought it would be weird to ask," she confessed.

"it's no problem at all," josh assured as he gave tyler his son, freeing his arms so that he could grab a pen from the table along with a piece of paper, "i'd be happy to, since you're taking such good care of max."

he wrote down ' _to emmy, the worlds greatest babysitter_ ' before signing it off with his name and gave the note to her with a smile.

"could i maybe get a hug too?" she asked shyly, looking down at the paper as if she was reading it over and over again.

josh chuckled and pulled her in for a big, warm hug, squeezing her tightly.  
tyler couldn't help but smile as he looked at emmy, all star-y eyed and giddy.  
josh really did give the best hugs.

"alright emmy, i suppose that you need to go home now?" tyler asked, not wanting to just throw her out, but still feeling as if he needed some time alone with max and josh.

luckily, the teenager got the idea and nodded.

"yeah," she agreed as she backed up, "the same time tomorrow?" she asked, turning to tyler.

"actually," tyler sighed, "i won't be working for a while, but i'll call you if i need you, alright?"

emmy nodded and bid her goodbye's, hugging max and wishing tyler and josh a good day before she was out the door.

"seems like every teenager in town knows who you are," tyler chuckled as he went to lock the door.

he then turned to max with a smile and began asking him about his day.  
it was something that tyler tried to do as often as he could, giving his son his full attention to really show that he was listening.

josh tried to keep up with the conversation, but it was hard since he couldn't read sign language.  
tyler translated pieces here and there, but was more focused on keeping up the conversation with maximilian.

-

"i should take a class," josh suggested almost two hours later when the trio had sat down around the dinner table to eat.

"a class?" tyler asked as he placed a potato on max's plate.

"in sign language," the punk clarified, waving a carrot stick in the air in front of his face before taking a bite, "is it hard to learn?"

"kinda?" tyler said, "i've been practicing it for three years and i still have to look up words sometimes."

"well, it would make things easier," josh pointed out, grinning at max who tried to shove the entire potato into his mouth all at once.

tyler gave his son a half-hearted glare, to which he only got a potato-filled smile in return.

"maximilian," tyler sighed, but still sounded quite amused, "table manners please".

he wasn't signing with his hands now, too lazy to put his fork and knife down.

the boy had to spit out what was in his mouth, unable to swallow it and both josh and tyler made a grossed out face at the sight.  
when the child then proceeded to eat the already mushed up food, tyler groaned and took the plate from him.

"don't do that," he lectured.

the boy dropped his fork to sign, staring at his father.

"because it's gross," tyler said as he got up and threw away the mush before he returned and placed a new potato on the plate, "please, use your fork," he begged, "do you want me to cut it up for you?"

max shook his head aggressively from side to side, making grabby-hands for his food.  
once the plate was in his grip, the boy pushed it to josh's side of the table, watching the yellow haired punk with big eyes.

for a moment, they had a silent stare down where they just looked at each other, josh confused and max impatient.

"i think he wants you to cut his food," tyler clarified behind an amused smirk.

max nodded harshly as josh blinked in confusion at tyler.  
when the father simply nodded his head in encouragement, the punk began to cut the food into smaller, bite-sized pieces.

it was a weird feeling.  
not that josh minded of course - quite the opposite actually.  
it showed that max accepted him and liked him, right?  
he wasn't used to it, is all.  
but it did feel... nice, like a normal family dinner almost.

"alright maxie," josh said, studying his work, "is this good?"

the child nodded and leaned his entire upper body over the table to reach for the plate, pulling it with him as he sat back down.

max placed his open palm over his mouth, outstretched fingers point up towards his nose, before he dropped it forward towards josh again, almost as if he was throwing a kiss.

"oh!" josh exclaimed happily, perking up at the familiar move, "i know that one! it means 'thank you', right?"

"it does," tyler smiled, "maybe an asl-class is a good idea."

he paused to take a bite out of his food, holding a hand over his mouth as he chewed and swallowed.

"i mean, it would be so much easier if you could understand at least a little bit of sign language if we're actually gonna give this relationship thing-y a try," he continued, trailing off a little towards the end.

he really didn't want to force josh to put that much effort into such a new relationship, and he understood that it would take a lot of practice and work, but it was kind of an important detail, right?  
what if josh was alone with maximilian for some reason, or what if max wanted to talk to josh specifically?

tyler didn't mind being a translator, but it interrupted the flow of the conversation, not to mention the fact that it worked as a constant reminder for max that he was different.

josh smiled, his face morphing into an adorable mess of laughter lines, dimples, squinting eyes and white teeth.

"i'll sign up for a class then."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look who’s back??? ? i’m so sorry for the long wait, my life is absolutely crazy at the moment but i’ll try to update this fic whenever i can!
> 
> thank you all so much for all the comments and kudos, it really warms my heart and it’s seriously the only things that pushes me to keep updating this story! please let me know what you think of this new chapter, too! <3

**Author's Note:**

> excuse any mistakes in the text - english isn't my first languish and if anyone feels up for it, i would seriously consider a proof-reader!


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